Cherry, beginning what would turn out to be years of personal struggle to come to terms with his grief at the loss of his friends and Captain Scott, replayed in his diary the last few hours before he had turned back at the top of the Beardmore that day in December, leaving the Polar party to go on.
"Atch tells me that Bill discussed the health of those going on with him the last morning on the top. Titus they agreed on as being very done: Bill said Scott was keen on his going on, he wanted the Army represented, but Atch who went to see Titus in his tent did not think T. wanted to go on, though he (T.) did not actually say so. He thinks Titus knew he was done -- his face showed him to be so, & the way he went along. Birdie & Evans they also agreed on as being done. This has been confirmed. Lashley told Atch that they both looked very bad on the Plateau. Bill thought Crean was also, but Atch did not agree."
 Apsley Cherry-Garrard, diary, 4 April 1912, Scott Polar Research Institute.